In 1977, Arnold Schwarzenegger played a hypersensitive killer bodybuilder in an episode of the ABC crime series “The Streets of San Francisco.” Far from being a scary story of an unstoppable, unhinged muscular killer, the Arnie episode is just kind of funny.
The 1970s were a pivotal and hilarious time for Schwarzenegger. This was the decade when the Austrian transplant secured his position as a legendary bodybuilder and began his career in Hollywood. It was also the decade where he enthusiastically spent a lot of time talk about practice orgasms and playing in one of The lowest rated movies of all time on IMDb“Hercules in New York”. Long before Arnie became the legend we know today, young Austrian Oak was plotting his domination of the United States. Becoming governor of California and marrying a Kennedy might have been beyond his comprehension at the time, but Arnie was driven like few others, and he knew he was destined for greatness.
However, before one of his greatest achievements materialized, he had to pay his dues. Although he was crowned Mr. Olympia five times in the 1970s, his acting career was not as glamorous. The young star started the decade with “Hercules in New York” and ended it in playing the “handsome stranger” in a 1979 western flop with a 0% Rotten Tomatoes score. Between these two projects, he also tried his hand at television. That is, he appeared on two television shows, both in 1977. One, “The San Pedro Beach Bums,” saw him playing “muscleman,” and the other, “The Streets of San Francisco,” saw him playing, well, a muscleman. At least that last beefcake had a name: Josef Schmidt. He also had a penchant for flying away in hilarious ways.
Arnie played a killer bodybuilder in The Streets of San Francisco
ABC’s crime drama “The Streets of San Francisco” ran from 1972 to 1977 and starred Karl Malden and Michael Douglas as two homicide detectives in the titular city. Malden Lt. Michael Stone was a veteran cop who was partnered with Douglas’ much younger Deputy Inspector Steve Keller. The show followed the duo as Stone showed Keller the ropes, but after Douglas produced 1975’s “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and it became a hit, the young star quit and was replaced by Richard Hatch’s Detective Dan Robbins. It was Stone and Robbins who met Josef Schmidt, Arnie’s murderous champion bodybuilder, in the 1977 episode “Dead Lift.”
Airing as part of the show’s fifth and final season, “Dead Lift” saw Arnold Schwarzenegger play a doped muscleman who travels to San Francisco for a competition while dealing with some unfortunate side effects from his illicit drugs. Schmidt is basically a big cry baby, unable to take criticism and becoming furious at any slight. Unfortunately, this leads him to kill a young girl, prompting Stone and Robbins to take action.
Schmidt finds himself in all sorts of trouble after student Irene Lupoff (Hilarie Thompson) makes fun of his muscle flexing routine only for the crazy strongman to violently shake her in response. She dies but Schmidt continues the competition to finish in second place. When Diana Muldaur’s Judith Winters triggers it again, it looks like it’s curtains for her as Schmidt flies into another rage. Eventually, however, Stone and Hatch arrive just in time to calm him down and take him into custody.
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Streets of San Francisco episode is hilarious
Anyone as old as me will surely remember the days of ebaumsworld.com and the soundboard hoaxes. If so, you’ll probably remember Arnold Schwarzenegger’s soundboard as one of the most important cultural artifacts of the early 2000s. The man was a trove of angry, poorly-pronounced phrases that seemed designed for our prank needs – from “Who’s your daddy and what does he do” to “I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to shove it into your stomach!” But I think I speak for my entire generation when I say we were robbed of what would have been a classic Arnie soundboard replica when whoever made this blessed creation forgot to include the screaming actor. “It’s progressive resistance!” by ransacking a living room in “The Streets of San Francisco”.
Young Schwarzenegger just couldn’t act in 1977, and his lines in “Dead Lift” are delicious snapshots of a man struggling to go from big muscle to movie star. The killer bodybuilder storyline was offbeat enough to make “Dead Lift” a memorable episode, but it’s much more interesting as a glimpse into a young Arnie still learning the ropes of the trade he would one day dominate. It’s also really, really funny. Arnie shouting “I’m not ugly! I’m beautiful. This is what the body is supposed to look like!” as he shakes a woman to death, it’s something you don’t want to miss. Fortunately, the entirety of “Streets of San Francisco” (which was canceled four episodes after Arnie appeared) is available for free on Pluto, which is quickly becoming one of the most popular. best streaming services available (if only because it is free at a time when rising prices confirm that the streaming dream is dead).
